The psychedelic underbelly of the world had erupted and all I saw was a huge helicopter making endless loops. Its rotors were the color of candy. Roses were falling through its open doors. It was a different world. A world of color and corruption. Shit…shit…shit. This was not the dream I had bought. I wanted fear in my fist and happiness in my heart. This was giving me a bad vibe man. Topsy turvy, round and round my head swam in the air. It was heavy stuff. People were throwing things at me. Or were they words? diCONNected, diORIENted and diBELITiZed. I moved away.

I ventured into a diner. It was full of men munching on something green. Nothing made sense. Where was I? Wasn’t I supposed to be in a concert? Toothpicks between my teeth. Fuck! The hospital yellow of the lights was getting to me. Man alive, I had to get out of the diner! There was too much sickly green and muted yellow. Eaaaghhhh!

I floated out on a carpet made of newspapers. Bush screamed at me in broken sentences. Some beauty queen had bled to death when her vibrator exploded. A guru was caught having sex near Gangotri. This was…this…was…this was the news of the world on recycled paper. I inhaled the musty smell of disintegrating paper.

I had the power in my mind. Wild power you could put on your tongue like a stamp of mind detergent. Hooting and cheering in the distance. People crying or singing. I could not make out the difference. Wait…wait…perhaps that was the concert? Where? Where had the cheering come from? East? West? North? South? Or was it midnight on the clock?

“Hey man, watch your step. Don’t tread on me.”

Who the fuck said that? Who talked like that man? I know that line; it was from some song I heard in some dark basement. I could hear them on the horizon. The wicked laughter and the roaring glory of guitars in tune. I had to get there. I had to get there. I had to bloody well get there. I had to fucking get there man.

I should ask someone. Perhaps this kid in rolled up sleeves smoking a cigarette like it was some kind of mind bender? Or the anorexic girl next to him with glazed eyes and drooping lips? Maybe this one-eyed, aging hippie who was giving me the Eye? His eye was rolling over me. My skin crawled over and under me trying to escape through my nose. Mother of god! What was this place, peopled with lathered men and listless women? Then I got it in a blinding flash of clarity! It was a school for human rejects. Physically terminal cases had been brought here to test my reaction by a depressed government. Or perhaps. Perhaps. Maybe. This was the result of a failed lab experiment for super humans. This was evolution’s garbage. This was nature’s way of showing the middle finger to the human race.

Enough…enough of this human crap. The cries were rising in volume. I had to go. But I could not move. I was rooted to the spot like a flagpole. My legs would not move one inch. I willed them to move but they were in some other dimension and could not hear my brain’s commands. I did not know what to do. I tried to open my mouth but sound had been taken over by the silence in my throat. Water flowed down from somewhere above my eyes and blurred the reality around me. I could only see shapes, oily and slick. Was it sweat or tears?

And then as suddenly as it had come the stationary phase went. I could move again. But there were too many people around. What was everyone doing out here? Why didn’t they go to the only place that mattered? I tried to shout but nothing came out. I could still taste the silence in my mouth. Oh my double shots of tequila on fire! Oh my orange cube of love! I was losing all semblance of control. But I had to hold on. I was not far away. The horizon was closer now. I could make out the silver lining. But wait, somebody was talking next to me. He was calling me by a name that somehow sounded familiar. I tried to focus on him but my eyes failed to resolve. I stopped. I looked at him and tried to hear what he was saying.

“Hey dude, it is me, your old friend, the Window Man!”

Window Man? Who the fuck had a name called Window Man? I shook my head to dissolve some of the pink clouds coalescing on my temples. No help. No do. Nada. Zilch. Nothing rang.

[Window Man]: Madarchod, the band rocks kathe. People are going crazy over there. Behanchod, I’ve to get in boletho they are not allowing in people. They have stationed black bouncers, some fuck just told me. Anyyywayyyys, what the fuck are you doing here man?

[Me]: Umm….

He did not wait for my reply but ploughed on like a politician with a microphone.

[Window Man]: Behanchod, I knew this would happen. I should have gotten here earlier. But that stupid bitch man. She wanted me to drop her at home first. I hate her manipulative whine. Goddamn whore!

I wanted to get in a few words but he droned on in a tone that was rubbing sandpaper on my nerves. I had to get away before I killed him with my fingers in his eyes. But before I could even finish that thought he abruptly turned, started screaming more vile obscenities, and left.

Suddenly, I knew all the answers. The band did not matter. Nor did their music. I was at the center of a newborn universe and the answers were being created right before my eyes. It was like being in the driving seat of God’s Buick. I could ride through the highways of pre-dawn and relish the tang of creation blowing through my hair.

There was a new quietness in my head. People were streaming backwards. I looked again. They were going out. Night had fallen and a few stars were singing in the black sky. How much time had passed here? Where had I been? I was still hovering on a high cliff but the infinite darkness off the edge was gone. It was replaced by a sense of supreme calm. There was no freaking out now. The world felt cleansed of all the filth I had seen before. I smiled behind my teeth and rolled my tongue over the silence slowly receding to the back of my throat. This was bliss of the third kind.