Comments on: The Shame of the Indian Male http://arthedains.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/ patterns of light and memory Sat, 22 Nov 2008 11:19:19 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Anil http://arthedains.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/#comment-80911 Anil Sat, 26 Jan 2008 13:45:06 +0000 http://arthedains.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/#comment-80911 Rafi: I agree it is something of a Catch-22 situation. But even if society is to blame for its conservative mindset and the resulting frustration among men that should not be used as an excuse to condone molestation. It is just not done to grab or grope a woman. Can you imagine a woman grabbing a man's crotch in public? So why should men do it? Talk to her and if you have the courage and confidence ask her out but please no lewd comments. Well, if not anything I'd say the situation in the bigger cities is a bit better than before vis a vis dating. It is not that difficult to meet with the opposite sex these days. And I don't quite agree with you on the "what is life with out having an affair before marriage" part. It does make you any less of a man/woman if you are a virgin when you get married. Rafi: I agree it is something of a Catch-22 situation. But even if society is to blame for its conservative mindset and the resulting frustration among men that should not be used as an excuse to condone molestation. It is just not done to grab or grope a woman. Can you imagine a woman grabbing a man’s crotch in public? So why should men do it?

Talk to her and if you have the courage and confidence ask her out but please no lewd comments. Well, if not anything I’d say the situation in the bigger cities is a bit better than before vis a vis dating. It is not that difficult to meet with the opposite sex these days. And I don’t quite agree with you on the “what is life with out having an affair before marriage” part. It does make you any less of a man/woman if you are a virgin when you get married.

]]> By: Rafi ahmed http://arthedains.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/#comment-80160 Rafi ahmed Mon, 21 Jan 2008 00:49:17 +0000 http://arthedains.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/#comment-80160 i have lived a couple of years in hongkong and china, i have seen girls walking alone in shenzhen in the mid night. In my view, it is because of our culture. the more some thing is supressed, the more it likely to explode with out control. i see hundreds of guys looking for girls on internet, they claim they are software engineers, have money, good job, but no one to love them or share life with, I am 32, software engineer, single and unmarried. i have no girl friend , i spend my weekends at home and fed up with boring life myself. I want to spend few hours with a girl may be go out to drink a tea or cofee and make new friends. but the big question is where to find her. they are not found on streets, not in internet classfieds, not in work place. so what choice people are left with. just hang on streets and make comments. i know you will say get married. good enough. how to know whether the girl you are made to marry is have some thing in common with out knowing the person. we are made to blindly marry with out knowing each other and later get into affairs with office colleages and that never admitted. well do not blame on people who do it, blame on the society which made them to do it. people are not born thieves or rapists, society turns into them. if some thing is wrong in people, should try to find out why those people are doing that . we all know the problem, over protective brothers and dads. try to give freedom to your daughters and sisters, its their life. even they made mistakes, they learn from them. what the life with out having an affair before marrieage, life is not suppose to be perfect, if it is then it is boring. i can say a lot, may be some agree and some do not. its their freedom and choice. so let it be. we all can not eat daily same food, so why tie to one partner. i have lived a couple of years in hongkong and china, i have seen girls walking alone in shenzhen in the mid night. In my view, it is because of our culture. the more some thing is supressed, the more it likely to explode with out control.

i see hundreds of guys looking for girls on internet, they claim they are software engineers, have money, good job, but no one to love them or share life with, I am 32, software engineer, single and unmarried.

i have no girl friend , i spend my weekends at home and fed up with boring life myself. I want to spend few hours with a girl may be go out to drink a tea or cofee and make new friends.

but the big question is where to find her. they are not found on streets, not in internet classfieds, not in work place. so what choice people are left with. just hang on streets and make comments.

i know you will say get married. good enough. how to know whether the girl you are made to marry is have some thing in common with out knowing the person. we are made to blindly marry with out knowing each other and later get into affairs with office colleages and that never admitted.

well do not blame on people who do it, blame on the society which made them to do it. people are not born thieves or rapists, society turns into them.

if some thing is wrong in people, should try to find out why those people are doing that . we all know the problem, over protective brothers and dads.

try to give freedom to your daughters and sisters, its their life. even they made mistakes, they learn from them. what the life with out having an affair before marrieage, life is not suppose to be perfect, if it is then it is boring.

i can say a lot, may be some agree and some do not. its their freedom and choice. so let it be.

we all can not eat daily same food, so why tie to one partner.

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